Just wondering..

How much can you give someone you love? Are you willing to give everything you have? Dramatic first lines? I know. I was just thinking about things I am willing to and was able to sacrifice for the people I love. I know I've been unfair in giving a little part of my heart to everyone I love. I gave more to someone than another. And I was wondering if I made a smart choice in doing so. What if I showed my love more to my parents by obeying them before rather than telling them lies just to be with my friends? What if I did this than that? But I thought, mistakes are useless if you look at them as regrets. Instead, mistakes should be tools to grow, to learn, to make up, to be better.

I've been giving everything I can to this boy I really love. I don't regret giving him my attention and time. What I don't realize is that I've been neglecting other important people in my life, like my friends. I have this amazing friend whom I feel like I know my whole life even though we just met in high school. We have been best friends since second year high school up until now. But we are not like we were before. Things do change, even our relationships with the people around us. This girl and I may still be best friends but we are not that close anymore. I have this feeling that we are drifting apart.

Last night, we talked online about our feelings towards our friendship. During the past four years of our relationship, many things happened which may have caused our growing apart. Different interests are one reason why we feel like we're not that close anymore. My relationship with my boyfriend is another because like what I said, I've been giving him as much attention and time as I can to him. I never knew that she had been keeping things from me. Like why she seems to be going away from me. And it hurts to know just now that I have been responsible for these things. We have so many things we wished we did together but never had because we were keeping things from each other. In fact, we were giving each other things that we thought were best for one another. What we don't know is that being together more often is the one thing we really, really like. We just let things come and go. Regrets? None. Cause I know we still have our whole lifetime as friends which we can use to make up for the lost time.

We may be far from each other now especially that we're in college. But I believe that there are many ways to bring back our friendship just the way it was once upon a time. She is one of the bestest friends and certainly a very important person in my life. And one thing I'll surely regret is letting go of the chance to bring our friendship back to life. To give it yet another spark. To make us feel within one planet once again.

I love everyone who is a part of my life. They make this life worth living. They make me feel one very lucky girl. So if I may have been hurting someone who is a part of me, no matter how little or big that part is, I am really sorry. And I promise to find balance in giving myself to everyone who needs me and to all those who love me.

This is it for now. Thanks for spending time in reading. See you next post. :')