Confessions of a (Insert Adjective Here) Girlfriend

I never saw myself as the everything's-alright-type of girl. I never accepted anything just the way it is even when dealing with my parents and my friends. I always look for ways to say that I am right and I still believe that I am right even when proven wrong. Yea, kind of tough (I think) and hard-headed.

But everything changed because of this man I know. A freshman in college just like me. Average height (but he looks kinda tall when standing beside me, I'm not really short, I just don't know his actual height, haha). Average intelligence (well, compared to other UP students. Of course, he's smarter than the vast majority not studying in UP. Haha. All Maroons are.) Average weight (this is some kind of a lie because he's a little over the underweight line.) Has lots of sense of humor ( he'll make you laugh in a jiffy if you're close to him, he's a little shy with strangers). And so on.. I can continue on and on in describing this guy so I better end there. Looks like he's just an ordinary man, right? Well, for you he may be like that. But for me, he's really special. And he happens to be my (would you call it) boy.. Okay, can't say the word. Weird me, I know. He's my boyfriend.

I don't know why I'm saying this now especially when we're in good terms again. Yea, we just had a fight and we were close to that breaking point. It always happens when we are fighting and I know that in the near future this scenario will be happening again. Besides, two people in love with each other will never know what they can do together if they don't know how to test their relationship. Am I making sense? Haha. I mean, fights like this would make our relationship stronger. A person would not know the true meaning of happiness if he/she does not know how to be sad, right? Same goes with any other emotions which are binary oppositions of each other (you'll never appreciate being rich if you never experienced being poor. Haha.)

So like what I'm saying, I never saw myself as accepting as this. Well, he's the type that says sorry a lot of times even if he did nothing wrong. Kind of passive. I'll bet that if you're the girl, you'll say..'Aw! He's so sweet, he knows how to say sorry.' Well, if this happens over and over again and all you hear is 'sorry' and 'sorry' and 'sorry' plus a lot of different excuses, there would come a time that it would be tiring to hear these sorry's and excuses. And before our one big fight (Go Ateneo! Lol.), my ears are getting irritated of these endless apologies and reasoning. Sometimes, I blame myself for feeling like this. But what can I do? Everything has its own saturation point.

There are times when I feel like I'm the only one doing something to make this work. I call a lot of times just to hear his voice and to know if he's alright. If I were him I won't answer the calls anymore because it wastes my cellphone's battery and besides, the connection is pretty lame. Long-distance relationship is really hard. We don't get to see each other every time and it sucks when the time when we last saw each other gets long. Now, I'm freakin grounded and I can't go out and I don't have money and he doesn't want to go here and I don't know what else I can do.

I think I'm not making sense anymore. Well, love is also like that, isn't it? Love is being stupid together (quoted from Elder Futhark. haha.) So, I'm being stupid and I think he is too and yea, love. Haha. I just want to share something about what I'm feeling now after 27 months. I know that our relationship is not yet that long. But I know that we still have years and years of future together ahead of us and this shitty problems will be gone soon. And if you believe in fairies, I (we) believe that forever is real. Uyeah!

Nonsense blabber. Haha. Tenkshuu~